Our society is largely set up to condition us to ignore, neglect, or disregard our own thoughts, beliefs, and desires in order to comply with expectations and/or protect ourselves from judgment and punishment. We’re taught that others outside of us have the answers—and if we don’t agree, there’s something wrong with us. We abdicate responsibility for our lives to external sources in order to comply with expectations, losing ourselves in the process.
We are so conditioned not to be true to ourselves that we may not even realize the extent of our self-abandonment. We become chameleons, changing our colors to fit the perceived requirements of whatever environment we’re in.
Sometime in midlife, something happens that acts as a catalyst, bringing this tendency toward self-abandonment into our awareness. Once we see it, we can’t unsee it. It becomes nearly impossible to continue living this way.
This realization can hit like a lightning bolt, jolting us awake from a deep sleep. Our true selves—our souls—are calling us to realign with the truth of who we are. It may become obvious that our career or relationships no longer align. This can be an incredibly difficult realization, and it may feel nearly impossible to “right the ship.”
What do we do now? How do we even begin to unravel everything we’ve built over 10, 20, or 30 years?
It can feel impossible, and it’s perfectly normal to attempt to put it off, to try to be happy where we are. Maybe we make small adjustments in our lives, hoping that will suffice. Maybe we’ll be able to delay the inevitable for a while, but likely, it’s nothing more than a delay.
This transitional time in life is sometimes described as a dark night of the soul or spiritual awakening. It also echoes the Hero’s Journey described by Joseph Campbell, and I love this perspective. This lightning bolt of awareness is what the Hero’s Journey refers to as the Call to Adventure. Answering this call asks us to make some really difficult decisions, and what those decisions look like will differ for everyone depending on their circumstances.
The important thing to understand is that this transitional experience is normal and even necessary for our evolution. This is a sacred rite of passage from one level of consciousness and one way of being into another, leading us toward the next highest version of ourselves.
This isn’t something to be ashamed of or to view as a failure; this is meant to happen. We’re now being called toward a new life’s mission. We must cultivate the courage to wholeheartedly answer the call, embark on this new adventure, and trust that we will prevail.
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