Hurt People Hurt People. Compassion Can Break the Cycle.

The Latin root of the word compassion means “to suffer together.” Compassion elicits the urge to help alleviate the pain of others because we understand that helping others also helps ourselves.

You may have noticed that compassion can be very difficult for us humans, especially in the United States. Here, the emphasis is on individuality—so much so that we have forgotten how connected we actually are.

We have seen an astounding lack of compassion in the highest ranks of government, but it permeates other facets of our society as well, including places where we wouldn’t necessarily expect it.

In the last week, I have seen Instagram posts by two unrelated local spiritual/metaphysical businesses that demonstrated a surprising lack of compassion, which led me to want to address it here.

One post was by a metaphysical shop that shared a video of a woman shoplifting from the store, accompanied by a curse that she would be stripped of all she holds dear.

Some may say, “But she shoplifted. She deserves it.”

Does she, though?

The shop owner has every right to take legal action and do what she can to retrieve the stolen merchandise, trusting the rule of law will administer consequences. But even if the person gets away with it, karma will do its thing.

When faced with a situation where we feel wronged or judged, we have the opportunity to get angry or get curious. We can consider the person who would go into a metaphysical store to steal crystals or other magical objects. What led to that decision? Was she going to resell the items because she desperately needed money? Did she want to give them as a gift but didn’t have the money to purchase them? Perhaps she was lacking the funds to pay for the items she wanted, or perhaps she has a compulsion to steal despite having the money. In that case, there may be something deeper underlying the behavior.

Cultivating compassion doesn’t excuse the act of stealing, but it does recognize the person’s humanity and the fact that they’re not perfect. No one is. A poor choice doesn’t mean someone isn’t worthy of love and understanding. In fact, it may be an internal belief that they aren’t worthy of love that contributed to the poor decision in the first place.

When we wish revenge or suffering on someone who has hurt us, we remain energetically bound to them. Our anger keeps us connected to the very person or experience we may desperately want to be free from. But when we choose instead to pray for their healing—to wish that whatever hurt within them caused the harmful behavior might be healed—we begin to loosen that bond. We don’t have to forgive the behavior, forget what happened, or allow the person continued access to our lives. We can hold boundaries and still choose compassion. Praying for love and healing creates freedom for everyone involved, including ourselves.

Our willingness to show up in the world as a bringer of compassion helps create a better world. Energetically, we are all connected. What we wish for others, we also wish for ourselves.

Remember, hurt people hurt people. There is a reason people do the things they do. We don’t have to like or condone their behavior, but we can send love to them. Prayer works. Positivity works. Compassion works. Love works. Hatred, anger, and revenge perpetuate negative cycles that hurt everyone involved.

The next time you find yourself judging another’s behavior, see if you can get curious about what may have caused it. See if you can generate compassion for that hurt part within them and send it love and healing instead of wishing them ill. Notice how this feels in your own body, remembering that as we wish for others, we wish for ourselves.

By shifting your thoughts toward compassion, you’re doing a service for yourself and the world.